Wednesday, July 22, 2009

feeling blue out of nowhere. . .

well...actually i am not that kind of someone who like to write, or updating my blog each and everyday just for the sake of updating...hehe...i am lazy to write, and lazy of thinking what to write..if i sudddenly write then it must be something had happened, thus something happens tonight that makes me blogging...something inside me that wants to blurt it out so that i feel relieved.....

tonight i fell kinda blue. u know, this is because i remembered something in my life. u see, i liked someone before, and i have get over with it, and with confidence i said i really do get over about it years ago..

the problem when you living alone in ur room and everybody is noisy,

is you think of something u really dont want to think...it is so nostalgic...for example what i thought today....(aiiihhh, merapu ba sy ni,i know im not straight to the point, but this is somewhat like a germaine to what i want to say....ehe)

ok....tonight, i feel somelike sad...and i don;t know why..i think i forgot already what i wanted to say..

but i think it is like this... i feel sad not because i did not have the guy that i like, but i think it is because i let go somthing i never had, or something i never fight, and i somewhat feel regret over this...not that i never confess, i did confess but cowardly, i just text messeging that person and poof!!, i think i confess..haha

izit the right thing to do???well, i do hope some advice on this matter, like, have you ever felt you think u already get over with some1 but eventually and actually u learned that it is not that u did not get over with it, but actually u missed that feeling where u felt that you have reason to live (because u liked some1) and u remembered how u told ur friends that u saw him/her this morning, or that did u talked to that person, or even smiled, and all those thing....i think i missed that childish moment, and i missed that feeling where i really like some1 and don't mind i don't have him, and not get over him....

and i also wondering, if in 20 years from now, will i still be thinking the same nostalgic thing, or whatever.

Hoe God has planned weirdly that i finnally here...actually i did cursing the day i made my decision to go study here (UMS), because this decision related to that feeling, but somehow, now, i realise, if i am not here, i wouldn't meet this wonderfull person, and i really cannot imagine my life without this wonderfull friend that i meet here and not so long ago...i don't know if that person read this or not, but if the person do, i want to tell the person i thought of 'the person' everyday, write 'the person's' name somewhere everyday, and wish 'that person' have good life each carefull day. nobody knows who that person is, only me...why???i guess i couldn't risk the consequence of declaring my secret...haha

adios frens!thanks for reading...i feel much better now...hehe....please, give me some advice keh????hehe

thanks again!!!

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