Thursday, November 3, 2011

LoVE that is not co-related

Tonight, I want to share about love.

There are many things that we can say about love. First of all, I would like to express love for my country, and my state.

This is to make myself clear. I have posted some nationalistic point-of-view of me in my post. I love my country, and sometimes I get a bit over myself when discussing about this. I really do feel this burning desire to speak up and actually do something about it. But I guess, it was suppressed by things that happens, and I have changed a lot in my mind, spirit, the way of thinking and some change in heart and plans. So now, I am not in that fire mood or to be too keen on writing for all that stuff. It makes me tired, and I don't feel that my voice is heard. When I wrote those intellect-like-article, I felt confident about it. I thought I did a great job by writing it. And now, I realise, nobody wants to read it. Even I do not feel that I want to look at it again and read all the comment. Deep within me, I feel embarrassed by those thing that I did.

This journey helps to make me decide, that I do not want to do posts and articles such in 'Borneo Youth Declaration', or 'Brain Drain & Brain Gain', or about how my country should this, or should that, or some people should this or that. I don't have enough courage to face the consequences. I would prefer and like to stay low, and write something which is fictional, anonymous but effective. Or it does not have to stay effective, as long as I feel 'me' in my writing, and still have that anonymous aura my own writing. Let the issue be there, but indirectly. It may be coward, but that is the only way I know to actually write something. I don't really care if nobody read it. It may be better that way.

How is this related to my love for my country? It is related, but I like to keep it anonymous, to protect myself, because whatever I said, according to the law, will be used against me in the court if anything would happen. (hahaha)

However, I would like to express my love to something more intimate. Love for another. But i would like to save it for another post. I am pretty tired now, and will be visiting ship with someone this morning later on, and need some sleep.

(looks like this post is more to statement that a sharing from me)

Another thing, my now on, I want to erase all y association with TLS. I am not proud of my extension to the matter that occur after the TLS. The program does do me good, but my action for writing about it, more on to how I wrote it, is not something I proud of. It will still be inside this blog, but I would not touch that matter again.






Good night everyone


*kisses*